My Biggest Struggle As A Professional Photographer

My view everyday…

As I was filling out an application for a website, I came across one of the most difficult questions I’ve had to answer in years…

What are some of your hobbies?

     I froze. I didn’t know what to write or what boxes to check. That’s when I realized: I didn’t have any that didn’t involve holding a camera in my hand or setting it up on a tripod to film myself. Ever since I made the decision to become a professional wedding photographer in Puerto Rico, my ONLY hobby turned into my career. Cameras have consumed my life for the past eight years and if I’m not shooting an elopement in Puerto Rico or taking pictures in Old San Juan for fun while testing out a new lens, I’m at home creating content for social media and furthering my career in front of a computer monitor.

For the first time in a while I felt lost. Admittedly, I felt as though my sense of self was shot to Hell (no pun intended). The identity I had built for almost a decade now had immediately shifted leaving a void I now didn’t know how to fill. How do you cope with reinventing yourself when everything you’ve come to know now consumes your everyday life with no time for anything else? I set out to figure this out on my own and, although it’s been somewhat of a struggle, I think I’m onto something.

If it’s not one…it’s the other.

     It’s easy for me to fall into the trap of treating my profession AS a hobby. We’re simply monetizing and commercializing that which we love doing already so it’s difficult to draw the line between one and the other. As a result, you have absolutely no idea on how to start creating a new hobby where the previous one existed. I have, however, made strides to fill the void namely through learning languages. I’ve always been bilingual since birth (Mom is originally from the Bronx, New York and taught English at almost every educational level) so I grew up speaking both English and Spanish simultaneously. I picked up Portuguese in college as a requirement from my Bachelor’s degree, which came in handy once I met my Brazilian girlfriend at the time. 

Today I’m teaching myself some German and Italian via the Duolingo platform in hopes of becoming a well-established polyglot. I think it’ll come in handy when trying to promote myself overseas as a destination wedding photographer; not that I’m not already but most of my clientele comes to Puerto Rico to tie the knot with me (not the other way around). I do love to travel and speaking various languages will definitely be beneficial when visiting countries in Europe, a part of the world I’ve never seen. Ever since I can remember I’ve been a fan of growing through learning and I think that by giving myself the opportunity to acquire additional skillsets, I’ll be able to take my business to the next level.

      Since I do have a background in sports, I picked up two signature tennis racquets used by Roger Federer himself (now retired). I figured I could take occasional trips down memory lane playing the sport that gave me so much. I first started playing tennis at age 14 and just four years later found myself at the top of the junior rankings in Puerto Rico. Shortly thereafter I was recruited to play some college tennis but not before trying out my luck in the pros (maintaining amateur status so that I could still be eligible for scholarships). Once it was all said and done, I started teaching tennis as a way to give back to the sport that gave me so much. Now, as an adult, photography has taken such a big chunk of my time that I can barely step foot on the court anymore; those racquets I mentioned buying are now collecting dust in a corner of my bedroom. Sometimes I’ll grab ‘em and swing around just to get that sense of playing. Tragic…I know. 

     One of the best ways I could invest my time is to do animal rights activism. As a vegan of seven years, it goes hand-in-hand with my belief system and my values move me to speak to animal cruelty. I was often out in the streets doing what’s called ‘outreach’ to unsuspecting bystanders who’d glance casually at the footage on our televisions of slaughterhouses hard “at work”. It’s still deep rooted and engrained with me but unfortunately I can’t commit to activism as I once did, sadly. I just have a hard time allocating the necessary windows of opportunity and resources because photography has now taken the front seat to my life and I’m firmly behind the wheel. This begs the question…

Where do I go from here…?

Lights, camera…ANSWERS?

Time will tell what replaces such a huge part of my life. Don’t get me wrong: it hasn’t gone anywhere; it’s just taken a life of its own in the form of employment. Wedding photography in Puerto Rico is how I make a living, create long-lasting memories and achieve personal satisfaction but: what will take its place? Will it continue to be language learning? Am I going to try to hit some tennis balls a few times a week? I don’t know what the future holds but I do know this: I’m not alone. I know a lot of fellow elopement photographers in Puerto Rico who are battling the same issues in their lives. Taking the plunge of making your passion your form of employment is never easy; you have to weigh so many things in order to achieve some sort of balance.

There is, however, something giving me piece of mind. I now know that cameras will always have a special place in my heart. It is through them that I can commemorate events for my clients, entertain myself whenever I don’t have mandatory obligations as well as simply exercise my creativity both at home and abroad as a professional photographer in Puerto Rico and the world. Needless to say I won’t be giving up looking through a lens anytime soon but I know it can’t all be photo and video. I’ll eventually get to a place in my life where holding a camera will play second fiddle to something else. The question is: what?!